Self-confidence doesn’t just happen it is cultivated and there are two key components to encouraging the development of your own self-confidence. First, you have to do more and second, you have to praise more. Self-confidence comes gradually over time from the praise we receive after we take action. This seems simple enough but often we don’t stop to think about it. As children when we do something like laugh or smile and our parents get extremely excited and praise us, exclaiming how amazingly wonderful and vastly superior we are for accomplishing this milestone, how do we respond?
Well, from watching almost any baby, and as I have noticed many times while observing my son and daughter, we keep it up. We repeat the action again and again as long as we are still receiving the attention and praise that started the initial repetition cycle. Now flash forward to adulthood and not too much has changed other than our awareness of the good feelings we receive from this action/praise cycle. The development of our belief in our own self-worth, thus fueling our self-confidence, is still present but now we can utilize it as a self-development tool. This understanding of a key difference between babies and adults is extremely important to note and fully comprehend, we as adults have awareness, which is the ability and knowledge necessary to recognize the benefit in something and encourage that benefit.
This means, luckily for you and I, we can manufacture this cycle and create self-confidence completely on our own. It may require you to overcome a few other hurdles like say, loving yourself a little more, valuing yourself a bit greater then you currently are, or becoming a touch more dedicated and persistent with your desires. But, the fact remains it can be done and done very simply. Just decide on a particular area in which you believe more self-confidence is required. Let’s say, for example, you are attempting to start a business but you are unsure you will be able to succeed. This at its core, is a self-confidence issue and can be easily and systematically addressed and altered.
Step One: Action
First start with an affirmation, something similar to, “I believe I can start a successful business.” We must be aware of the simple two step cycle of action and praise at all times. You may be wondering, “How is writing an affirmation an action?”, and you most likely just realized that answer. Actions are a lot simpler then we think; talking is an action, writing is an action, even stating the affirmation you’ve just created is an action. So what’s the first step then? Take action! Begin to use your affirmation as often as you can to start to cultivate self-confidence and the belief you need in order to get started. Attempt to state it as often as you can throughout the day. I make a game out of remembering to utilize my affirmations, trying to ensure that I put some focus towards it as often as possible throughout my entire day.
Step Two: Praise
Then what? …Step two, praise! Begin to praise yourself for the multiple actions you are now taking. Praise yourself for creating the affirmation, praise yourself for using the affirmation, and praise yourself every time you notice yourself remembering to utilize the affirmation throughout the day; any time you take action using your affirmation, praise yourself. Here is a good thing to remember, allow yourself the praise. Allow yourself to accept the praise, to feel the praise, and to feel good about the praise. This is a requirement in order for this method to work and may take some effort to accomplish but the work will pay off. You cannot receive anything without accepting it; this is a fact of life. If you turn down an offer for a Snickers candy bar you don’t receive the candy bar thus you cannot eat it and receive the benefit of the tasty treat. The same holds true for anything else we desire to receive in our lives, we must be willing to accept once we are in place to receive. So soak up that self-praise allowing your self-confidence, self-worth, and self-love to flourish.
This model of action/praise can then be carried over to the action we take towards starting the business. As you begin to take action towards starting your business (or whatever the self-confidence goal may be: getting fit, improving your health, saving money, liking yourself, ect.) follow each action with a moment of praise and a little pat on the back then quickly move on to the next action allowing that energy to carry over. This will begin to activate what Albert Einstein called the most powerful force in the universe, compound interest. Then just be sure to follow and implement the two phase cycle at all times until it becomes a habit so powerfully cultivated within that you begin to automatically praise yourself for a moment after each successful action. In the real world there are points for trying, its called experience so even if the action doesn’t produce fruitful results still be sure to applaud your efforts and your attempt to succeed. Trying is a lot more than most people ever do so any attempt to accomplish any goal is a job well done! Always be sure to get back up and dust yourself off for round two with a good ol’ fashion “Atta boy” (or girl). And then go for it again: refocus, retool, and create a new plan of action (then praise yourself for doing it of course). Persist with confidence and you will eventually accomplish any goal you set your mind to even if it takes ten thousand tries. (Shout out to Edison!)
I hope this simple technique will help you build yourself up and achieve everything you desire from life. One last word of caution: be sure to self-regulate there is such a thing as over confidence, it’s called being cocky or arrogant and it’s no fun. So make sure you are giving yourself praise for deserving action and you practice humbleness and humility as a counter balance. Balance is a key foundational aspect to success and something we can easily throw out of whack when attempting to grow, always analyze yourself and the trait you are cultivating for potential counter weights and include those in your daily affirmation regimen as well. As always have a blessed day and thank you so much for visiting Mental Impressions.
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About the Author:
Christopher A. Aseltine has over 15 years of entrepreneurial experience across several different industries. For the past 9 years he has been delving into the world of self-help and success. He has always had a passion for helping others, counseling and helping friends and family from a young age. Christopher has decided to take the knowledge and experience he has gained over the last decade and a half and present it all in one place in order to reach and help the broadest audience possible.
Christopher is married to his wife, Nicole, with two children, Ariana and Ace. He enjoys music and plays several instruments. His life’s passion is business and marketing. He is enthusiastic, fun-loving, and can sometimes be a bit over the top, although those that know him well might say always over the top. His hope and goal with Mental Impressions is to use that passion and enthusiasm to serve others well.